


"For The Both Of You."

by iwritewhenimhappy



Series: Hope [3]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Developing Relationship, F/M, Family, Gen, Hope, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-02 13:09:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18811540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwritewhenimhappy/pseuds/iwritewhenimhappy
Summary: “Is this about Ava?” Maddie asks carefully as she pushes away all of her feelings and instead finding that inner strength and control that got her through her job as an ER nurse and now a 9-1-1 operator. “Because that wasn’t your fault. You and everyone else did everything that you could. You know that, right? It wasn’t your fault.”“But it was.” Buck says in pain. “I should have known- I shouldn’t have froze and Eddie- I- I can’t… Maddie.”She says her name like a prayer, like a plea and Maddie’s heart hurts all the more for that. “Just tell me where you are, little brother, and I’ll be there before you know it, okay? We can get through this, together. If you can’t think of yourself than think of me, of Eddie, and of Christopher. They can’t lose another person right now. Not after Shannon.”





	"For The Both Of You."

“I thought you trusted me, Buck.” Eddie says slowly and as carefully as he can as he leans in closer to his friend, to his boyfriend. They’re sitting in Eddie’s living room after a nice romantic dinner in. Christopher currently staying with Maddie and Chimney at theirs. He’s supposed to be home in an hour giving them enough time to have some ‘alone’ time, but Buck stopped just as it was getting serious. They were kissing furiously and with so much heat it could have struck a flame. Eddie reached for Buck’s shirt and started to pull it up but that’s when he freaked. He pulled away and started pacing the floor. Eventually Eddie got him to calm down and sit down but that’s about all he’s been able to do. Buck won’t even let him touch him. This thing between them hasn’t been explored for very long but Eddie thought that this was what Buck wanted.

“Of course I do.” Buck says with more sincerity than Eddie’s ever seen him show.

“Then talk to me. Did I do something wrong?”

“No- No, you were – it was good, perfect even.” Buck smiles slightly at the word ‘perfect’ and Eddie almost melts.

“Good. Good. Did I go too fast? We can slow down.” Eddie tells him seriously. He reaches out with his hand to touch Buck’s but Buck flinches away and stands up almost instantly.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry Eddie but I can’t do this.”

 Buck’s hands shake and his eyes fill with fear and sorrow. Eddie’s heart hammers painfully in his chest. “Buck, baby, talk to me.” He tries again but Buck only shakes his head and moves further away until he’s at the front door. He opens it quickly and walks out. Eddie feels like he should get up and stop him but something has him glued to the couch. He should give him space. After all, they knew this wouldn’t be easy, Eddie thought just for him because of Shannon but it turns out that it’s not going to be easy for Buck either.

…

“Maddie!” Buck says in agony as Maddie answers her phone after the fifth ring. She, Chimney, and Christopher were playing a game of golf on the WII that Chimney insists is still in style. Whatever that means.

“Buck? Is everything okay? What’s wrong?” Maddie asks in quick succession as she walks out of the living room and into the kitchen to get some quiet from the boys playing their game.

“Mads… I screwed up. I- I really screwed up.”

“Evan, it’s okay. It’s going to be okay. We can get through this together. I’m sure it’s not that bad.”

“I can’t do this. I- I can’t.” Buck breathes into the phone as his voice shakes.

 Maddie’s eyes fill with tears as panic overtakes. The last time she heard Buck sound like this was when they were teenagers. He called her at her friends and told her he was sorry and that he loved her. He told her he couldn’t do it anymore and Maddie’s heart broke. She got home as soon as she could but he had already taken all of the pills. It wasn’t too late though and he was okay but he just as easily couldn’t have been. And then there was the time when she came home and he- he…

“Is this about Ava?” Maddie asks carefully as she pushes away all of her feelings and instead finding that inner strength and control that got her through her job as an ER nurse and now a 9-1-1 operator. “Because that wasn’t your fault. You and everyone else did everything that you could. You know that, right? It wasn’t your fault.”

“But it was.” Buck says in pain. “I should have known- I shouldn’t have froze and Eddie- I- I can’t… Maddie.”

 She says her name like a prayer, like a plea and Maddie’s heart hurts all the more for that. “Just tell me where you are, little brother, and I’ll be there before you know it, okay? We can get through this, together. If you can’t think of yourself than think of me, of Eddie, and of Christopher. They can’t lose another person right now. Not after Shannon.”

“I know.” Buck admits. “But what about me? What about Ava? What about her dad? He- You know what he did and that was-”

“Not. Your. Fault.” Maddie reiterates with a slight forcefulness. “Just tell me where you are. I’ll come and get you and we can go and get midnight milkshakes like we used to do when we were younger. Do you remember? You got Strawberry and I got-”

“Chocolate.”

“Yeah. Chocolate. So where are you, Evan? I’ll come and get you.”

“I’m at the bridge.”

…

“Evan.” Maddie breathes in relief as she steps out of her car and runs to her brother. He sits on a bench just a short few steps from sidewalk leading across the bridge. Maddie hugs him furiously and with as much love as she can muster. “I’m here. It’s going to be okay.”

 It takes a minute but finally Buck brings his arms around her and hugs back just as furiously. “I love you, so much.” Maddie whispers into his shoulder. “And you know what? You’re nephew is going to love you just as much, if not more.”

 Buck freezes and pulls away. Maddie’s eyes are filled with tears both happy and sad. Buck’s eyebrows furrow in confusion before he finally puts two and two together. “You’re pregnant?”

 Maddie nods with a happy smile. “I was going to tell you today but then you had your date and you were so nervous. I didn’t want to-”

 Buck’s face splits into a breath taking smile as he pulls Maddie back into a hug. “I’m so happy for you.” He whispers to her.

“Me too.”

“I’m sorry.” Buck says as guilt creeps its way into him. “I didn’t think.”

 Maddie pulls away until they’re facing each other and places her hands on Buck’s cheeks. “Look at me.” She says. “You have nothing to apologize for. I will always be here for you. You know that.”

“Me too.” Buck says with a new hope rising in his chest. “For the both of you.”

 Maddie smiles but then it falls as she says more seriously, “We need to get you help, little brother. I need you to be okay.”

 Maddie prepares for an argument or a brush off of her concern but it doesn’t come. Instead Buck looks down and nods. “I know.”

“We can talk about it tomorrow.” Maddie tells him with a smile. “For right now, how about we go and get those midnight milkshakes?”

“Is that okay for the baby?”

“More than okay.” She answers with a laugh. “In fact I think this little guy- or girl would love some onion rings to go with it.”


End file.
